"Coming Out" by Rev. Thomas Schade

I think that when I read the lyrics of “Jesus take the Wheel” as a reading in church, I was coming out as a country music fan. It’s sung by Carrie Underwood and it’s a very commercial country song.

When I read over the last paragraph, I am sure that everyone understands what I mean when I said that I had “come out” as a country music fan. To “Come Out As….” means to reveal something about oneself that had been previously undisclosed, something that might be subject to some sort of discrimination or prejudice.

The phrase “coming out” originated in the gay community, and was made a transformative ritual by the gay liberation movement. Now it has gone mainstream, and every one knows what it means, and people are coming out as this, that and the other thing everywhere you go. A UU minister confessing his affection for sentimental Nashville music is “coming out of the country closet”, as though the classical music UU’s are going to bash him in the narthex.

Every movement has its own characteristic ritual acts and phrases. From the labor movement we learn to ‘walk the line’ and ask ‘which side are you on.’ The Civil Rights movement had everyone doing the “sit-in”, or “walk-in” or “swim-in” or the “be-ins.” Women taught us how to raise our consciousness. The other day, I saw a Town Hall protestor describe how every event needs a highly symbolic ritual to focus attention. “Somebody has to burn the first bra.” I think everyone knew what he meant.

“Coming out” has crossed over and become mainstream because the phrase describes something so essential to a person’s growth and development. A person chooses what they will become first by being what they are, and one becomes who one is by naming.

Coming out is not only an act of self-revelation; it is also an act of self-definition. There is a difference between someone who likes to dance, and a dancer, someone who puts down words and a writer. To name oneself is to claim an identity.

And if that identity opens oneself to a possible danger, then all the more, naming is a fierce act of becoming.

This Sunday is “National Coming Out Day” and yes, there are Hallmark greeting cards for the occasion. It is also the day of what appears to be a large national demonstration in Washington DC, “The National Equality” March.

But it would be a good day for you to come out, too. You should not come out as gay or lesbian or bisexual, unless you want to, but there are many other ways that you can declare something about yourself that you have not yet acted upon.

Maybe on Sunday, you can come out as an artist. Maybe you can come out as someone who prays everyday. Maybe it is time to announce that you aspire to be a vegetarian, or one who wants to live a sustainable life. Maybe you should come out as the political activist you have admired, but never wanted to risk being.

Quit tip-toeing around the subject and announce to the world that you are a pie-in-the-sky, cock-eyed, optimist and you intend to be happy. Enough of this slouching cynicism and boring boredom. And if others want to be irritated with you in the morning, then that is on them. You’re here, full of good cheer. Deal with It!

It is not because the world needs more people with placards and an aggressive attitude. It is because the world needs more people who know who they are, whose sense of self is strong enough that they don’t have to prove it all the time.

It is only when a person knows who they are that they can let others be who they are, and can delight in the differences between people.

So, come on out; we are all anxious to meet you.